My life has been haunted by a certain uncertainty.
A specter of unknown significance and mystery.
Who follows me in all that I do eternally,
only appearing when my mind deems it necessary
to reach beyond its earthly capacity,
and ponder the truths that lie beyond just what the eye can see.
A gray creature who only harms me mentally,
preferring the subtle anguish over that that stings physically.
Now tell me friend, what is a man to do when he is haunted by problems such as these?
How do you deal with dreams, when you dream as I dream?
Life has taught me that this is the way the world should be viewed.
If I look through the glass of reason, if I search for the right clues
knowledge will find me and it will always be true.
This is what they told me and this is what I tell you.
And if you agree, then will you please help me
answer the question of why god is allowed to be free,
exempt from the analysis that is applied to everything?
Why the ultimate reason is not allowed to be reasoned?
It seems that the creator should be put under a microscope,
so the cold logical lens can reveal if he holds anything more than false hope.
But when I try to introduce this idea to the common folk
they block me out and classify me as being occult.
I think they are just afraid of losing all hope.
I can relate as my optimism has already been hung on a rope.
Left to die beneath the godless sky.
Awaiting the great nothingness that takes us all once we die.
Who will tell the children that paradise was all just a lie?
Despite this cold conjecture, my heart still yearns for a better answer.
A nicer one with no misconceptions.
An answer that both the heart and the mind could not question?
An answer proving that every happening holds a lesson,
so finally we will know that every loss and every pain conceals a message.
That every event has been willed by divine suggestion,
so that we don’t feel so alone in this world so vexing.
Sometimes I wonder, is this the life you wished for me mother?
Reason at one end, hope at the other.
Two forces at conflict, opposing each other.
Day after day, over my head they hover.
Locked in an eternal battle from which I may never recover.
Uncertainty clouds my vision, a deathly black cover.
Joy can only return when I distract myself with some earthly comfort.
But materialism provides only a fleeting release, for one day the illusion will be smothered.
The darkness will return, that old familiar burn, and once again my soul is torn asunder.
First you want it all. When you’re young, you want someone who understands you completely, who feels what you feel, and thinks what you think without having to say a word. Then you realize once you get older that things just don’t quite work like that… nobody will understand what you mean exactly…
I like that it has no ambiguity about it, it’s always straight with you. It never lies to you, unless you make a mistake, but that’s more like lying to yourself. It’s not maths fault you don’t know what 144/12 is!
I wish people were more like math problems. That you could just solve for x and it would tell you everything you wanted to know.
But I guess that would make everything a bit bland and uninteresting….
Maybe if I was the only one who knew the equations…just a thought ;)
Blackout by mierenneuken
Sometimes I find myself wondering.
“Wondering about what?” you might ask.
Well, about the unknowable.
There is much knowledge in this universe that can never be ours. It doesn’t matter how strong the desire to obtain it is, how hot the fire that compels our search may be, or how great the sacrifice we make for its sake is, it cannot be ours. We can never hold it up the light, examine it, and bask in the truths it may illuminate. Yes, this is what the unknowable is.
What do they really think of me?
Do they honestly feel that way?
Which path will lead me to happiness?
Is this all there is to life?
What comes after this?
Why am I here?
Why is anybody here?
Yes, I sometimes find myself wondering about the unknowable.
This wondering leads me nowhere.
Somehow I am OK with that.
I really like this song at the moment
I’m not really sure where to begin, but I suppose I might as well start by saying “Hello!”. I mostly started this tumblr for myself, because I feel like recording some of my thoughts and observations would help me grow as a person, and if someone happens to find these interesting then all the better.
About myself: I am a 17 year old guy living in the glorious state of Texas, more specifically in the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex. I could be like most teenagers and knock my town for being a upper-middle class suburban wasteland, but I’m not that angsty. I like where I live, it’s not perfect, but it’s not bad either. Besides, I graduate in 2012 and then I’m out of here. I like to consider myself an intellectual, but at the same time I feel that it’s possible that I’m just a stupid teenager with an inflated opinion of self.
That’s all I feel like typing right now, but here’s a quote that I kinda like
“Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky
